An open letter to Santa Claus

LETTER TO THE EDITOR, Mid-America Air Museum

Dear Santa,

We here at the Mid-America Air Museum want to wish you and Mrs. Claus a very Merry Christmas. This year instead of leaving out milk and cookies for you we thought we would see if we could offer you some assistance or share our real life-size toys with you. We have 105 aircraft on display that, with the help of some elfin magic, would serve you well if you have any problems with your sleigh on Christmas Eve, or if your reindeer get tired and need a rest.

You could fly your sleigh into our airport and park inside our nice warm and cozy hangar. I am sure some of our farmer friends could even find some hay for your reindeer. Don’t worry about anyone sneaking up on you while you’re here. We don’t have guard dogs, but we have something more suited to an air museum. We have two guard owls on duty who would keep a sharp lookout for you all night long.

In case you decide to try out some of our planes, I am sure you could find just the right ones. We have a WWII B-25 Mitchell Bomber that would be perfect for making aerial deliveries, and with our WWII Norton Bombsight we have here, you would be able to drop the packages right down the chimneys. We also have a WWII Grumman Avenger torpedo bomber in case you would prefer a plane painted dark blue. If you need to make some deliveries to aircraft carriers or to submarines, we have an S-2 Tracker that can locate the submarines or make deliveries to aircraft carriers. If you prefer a less conspicuous plane, we have several to choose from. You could ride in style with our elegant Beach Stagger Wing bi-plane or ride in a WWII Beach C-45 Expediter (or as we call it the Twin Beach) VIP Transport. If low and slow is more to your liking try our bright yellow Piper Club. In case you don’t want to stop and refuel very often, we have a world record-setting Piper Comanche that can fly more than 7,600 miles non-stop.

We can even help you out with planes and helicopters to provide you with air cover in case you encounter any nasty Grinches. We have everything from a WWI reproduction of the British Royal Scout SE5 fighter or a scale reproduction P-51 Mustang from WWII to several real fighter planes including a very rare F-4U Corsair night fighter equipped with radar, a Lockheed F-80 Shooting Star, an F-86 Sabre Jet, an A-4 Skyhawk, an A-7 Corsair II, an F-8 Crusader, the McDonald Douglas F-4 Phantom, a Lockheed F-104 Starfighter (the first jet to break Mach 2), and of course the amazing F-14 Tomcat, or as many visitors call it, the Top Gun Fighter.

For protection while you are on rooftops, we have the Republic F-105 Thunderchief, better known as “Thud” that was used for Wild Weasel missions to locate and take out SAM sites.

We can also help you out in case Rudolf has a cold and his nose isn’t so bright. You can mount our airport beacon on the front of your sleigh. If you get cold we will loan you a WWII sheepskin flight suit and boots to keep you warm, and of course if you happen to run short on gifts at the last minute, we have a really nice gift shop to help you out.

Sincerely,

The staff at the Mid-America Air Museum