PASTOR’S CORNER, David Harris, Fellowship Baptist Church, Liberal
“The words of the reckless pierce like swords, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.” (Proverbs 12:18, NIV)
The need to take personal responsibility for the consequences of our actions shows up in all areas of life – the relationship between what we put into our bodies and how much we weigh, between the sleep we get and how we feel, and between the money we spend and what we have left. I can safely assume there is agreement we all should own up to our responsibilities, even if we are less stellar at doing so in particular areas.
But here is one action/consequence relationship that goes far too unnoticed, and too often unacknowledged: the relationship between your words and their effect. As we watch the coarsening of our culture unfold, there seems to be a decline in owning up to the effect of our speech on others, and a refusal that how they hear us reveals something about our character. It may be a well-accepted cliché by now to suggest, “I said what I said, if that offends you, that’s your problem” or “That’s my truth, how it makes you feel is up to you.”
Our crude culture of meanness has been connected to therapy culture and its self-referential nature. I suppose that makes some sense – if the world revolves around you, then speak your truth and let the chips fall, come what may! But regardless of its roots in society today, should a Christian separate how people receive our words from the words themselves? Is it true, from a biblical perspective, that you simply should speak what’s on your heart and not take responsibility for what your words do after you speak them?
Solomon clearly thought otherwise. Note the stark imagery of Proverbs 12:18. When you see people wounded by words, when you see the blood and gore that remains after unhinged speech has had its day, it reflects on the reckless character of the speaker, not so much on the person being wounded. If on the other hand you find someone who has been mended with words, someone whose relational scars have been healed over after listening, then again, what is revealed is the character of the speaker, more than the character of the one to whom he was speaking. Not only do words reveal character (Jesus says as much in Matthew 12:35) the effects of words reveal character, too.
When you speak, what tends to happen? Does your tongue figuratively cut and slice those around you? Are you a contrarian, always tending to get into an argument at the drop of a hat (and you bring the hat?) Do you always need to have the last word? Do you shut others down? Are people free to be honest with you? Do you regularly offend when you open your mouth? If the answer is yes, then as wise as your quick-witted comebacks and quips may make you feel, you aren’t wise, you are in fact foolish. This Proverb offers an important reminder, especially for our offensive, expressive, therapeutic, self-centered age: take responsibility for how you are experienced by others. Don’t be reckless, be wise. Don’t pierce, heal.
