ROBERT PIERCE
• Leader & Times
Passing on personal possessions is a process that occurs for almost every person in every kind of family.
Across the generations, objects have meaning and carry history. Every person and every family is different, and the experiences they have when making decisions about who gets what and why are also very different.
The University of Minnesota Extension’s program, “Who Gets Grandma’s Yellow Pie Plate?” is designed as an effective tool for a variety of family groups working to make decisions in different situations.
The Wild West District of K-State Research and Extension is bringing the program to Liberal next week, and Extension Agent Nancy Honig said the program is a guide to pass on personal possessions, namely non-titled items.
“We think of titled possessions like a car or land or a house, and we usually have those in a will, and we usually have a plan for those,” she said. “We don’t think about those household items or those quilts or guns we have, or maybe we have a collection of baskets. How do we decide who gets them, who wants them, how do we go about figuring out where those possessions go.”
Honig said she believes the most difficult part of the process is typically making decisions about possessions.
“It usually happens when a loved one either has passed away or is having to downsize for specific reasons,” she said. “A lot of times, there’s a lot of emotional things that are going on during this time. The more you plan ahead of time, which is what this program is about, that makes that actual time in dealing with passing on possessions easier because you’re not in the middle of an emotional upheaval.”
Honig said much of what is talked about in the program centers around communication, primarily communication within families and how to think about family dynamics.
“We all have different makeups of families, whether there’s step families, whether there’s multiple generations who may be interested in the same thing,” she said. “The program and the book that accompanies it really focuses on how to make those communication processes happen as well as possible, as early as possible.”
Those who want to take part in “Who Gets Grandma’s Yellow Pie Plate?” need to register by Friday by calling Liberal Memorial Library at 620-626-0180 or e-mail
“They’ll get that free to be able to take home, and it will actually walk them step by step how you’re going to go through this process,” she said. “The program will give a general overview to get people opening up conversations and talking about it. They will individually be able to take the book home and work on it with their own families.”
Honig said the workbook and conversations during the program will focus partly on family conflicts, and part of that is helping people understand family conflict is natural.
“When families are involved, there’s always going to be something, and the more you understand that ahead of time and recognize that, the more you can set ground rules to talk about and to go through these things, the easier you can deal with those conflicts if you recognize ahead of time that there will be those,” she said.
There is no cost to attend the upcoming program.
“We do want them to pre-register number one so we know how many of the workbooks to provide and have the room size,” Honig said. “At the library, whether they put us upstairs or downstairs will depend on the number of people who have registered.”
