ELLY GRIMM

   • Leader & Times

Darla Forney has been part of Liberal and the USD 480 community for only nearly a year, and she has already made multiple positive strides in the community.

Friday, Forney was one of the speakers for this year’s Women’s Day Luncheon, where she talked about the power and importance of women in leadership roles.

“I love this space because we need each other. There is something powerful about women gathering together not to compete, not to compare – but to connect, to encourage, and to strengthen one another,” Forney said. “The theme for Women’s Day this year is ‘Women Educating Minds, Empowering Generations. And when I hear that phrase, I don't just think of classrooms. I think of kitchens. I think of hospital rooms. I think of boardrooms. I think of late-night conversations al the table. I think of prayer closets and front porches and community luncheons. Because educating minds and empowering generations happens everywhere. I am so very appreciative of the advancements women have made in the workforce. Many years ago, I would not have had the opportunity to serve as principal at Liberal High School. That door simply would not have been open. Women were not always invited to leadership tables. Women were not always considered for positions of authority. Women were often expected to stay in certain lanes. But because women before us were brave enough to push boundaries, to pursue education, to demand opportunity, and to persevere through resistance, doors began to open. Today, women hold esteemed positions at every level in almost every type of job. Women lead schools, hospitals, businesses, nonprofits, and communities. We see women in executive roles, women in STEM fields, women in public service, women in skilled trades. Advancements in equal opportunity and equal pay have come a long way, and they will continue to move forward.”

However, this progress has not sustained itself, Forney said.

“Progress requires women who are willing to support other women. It requires us to build real connections in the workplace and in our personal lives. It requires us to mentor instead of compete, to celebrate instead of compare, and to encourage instead of criticize,” Forney said. “Because when women stand together, generations rise.”

Forney then shared her mother’s story.

“My mother, Bobby Sue Dempsey was the epitome of patience, love, kindness, and hope. She was not a teacher in the school system, but she taught every single day,” Forney said. “She taught by her words, but more importantly, she taught by her actions. She taught me how to love my God, my country, and my family – and in that order. She taught me right from wrong. She taught me how to treat others with dignity and respect. She taught me how to be happy and satisfied with what I have and where I am in life. She taught me no work is beneath me. My mother was not a college graduate, though she did attend one semester before meeting my dad. My dad was a cowboy, and money was tight for our entire life. They raised six children on a hired hand's wages. And I am proud to say my three brothers went into law enforcement, one sister became a physical therapist assistant, and my other sister ran a housing authority. Six children, raised with limited finances but unlimited values. My dad worked from dawn to dusk, so it was really Momma's job to raise us. Daddy was there for the extra heavy hand when it was needed – and it was needed some. Momma and Daddy had been married for 38 years when he passed away. Almost exactly 40 years ago from right now, she lost her husband, her mother-in-law, and her father within five days of each other. She helped plan and attend all three funerals – one on Wednesday, one on Friday, and one on Saturday. I buried my daddy, granny, and grandpa. And yet, what I remember most from that season was not despair. It was hope. The faith my mother had – the faith she relied on – the belief in the hope we have in Christ was my first real understanding of how powerful hope can be. She did not crumble. She grieved. But she stood. She leaned into her faith. She trusted that there was purpose beyond her pain.”

And then, at the age of 56, having never worked outside the home, Forney said, her mother went to work and became a CNA.

“Starting a new career at 56 years old is intimidating for anyone. But she did it, and she was a rock star. Her nursing home patients loved her. She cared for them with dignity and tenderness,” Forney said of her mother. She brought comfort to families. She showed compassion to those who could no longer care for themselves. She was still educating minds. She was still empowering generations. Just in a different setting. After she retired, she moved in with my husband and I. She lived with us for 17 years. She moved in when our oldest biological son was just 1 year  old. And let me tell you, what a blessing that was. She poured into our children daily through her stories, through her discipline, through her example, through her prayers, and through her teaching.  She has since moved on to her heavenly home. I now strive to instill those same values in my grandchildren and students so her teaching continues to change lives.”

Such lessons, Forney said, are generational empowerment.

“You do not have to have a teaching degree to educate minds and empower generations. Modeling behavior, teaching values, demonstrating ethics, creating lasting memories, showing resilience, offering forgiveness, extending grace – these are all ways we shape the future.  Women have the power to mold young minds and truly change cycles of abuse, neglect, and poverty. We have the power to disrupt dysfunction. We have the power to model healthy relationships. We have the power to create stability where there was once chaos. Women can work outside the home, help build Fortune 500 companies, lead organizations, and then come home and transform young minds into productive young men and women. And then the cycle repeats. The only thing that can stop us is fear. Fear will whisper ‘You're not qualified.’ Fear will say ‘You're too old.’ Fear will say ‘You're too inexperienced." Fear will say "Stay where you are. It’s safer.' Change is hard for me. I like routine. I like predictability. If you had told me last July that by August I would be the principal in Liberal, I would have laughed. I would have said, ‘There's no way,’ and yet, here I stand.”

Since moving to Liberal, Forney said she has been blessed in multiple ways.

“What a blessing this town is. What a blessing Liberal High School is. 1 now get to work with some of the best around. I get to serve alongside strong, intelligent, compassionate professionals who care deeply about students. Who lift each other up, celebrate and support each other. I would have missed this blessing if I had let fear win,” Forney said. “So I encourage you, do not let fear define your boundaries. Step out of your comfort zone. Apply for the position. Start the program. Mentor the young teacher. Go back to school. Speak up in the meeting. Lead the initiative. Try something new. Because when women step forward in courage, generations benefit. We cannot limit ourselves. The world has already tried to limit women enough throughout history. And as we step forward, let's take other women with us. Invite them in, encourage them, advocate for them, and speak their names in rooms of opportunity. Remind them of their strength when they forget because one day, someone may tell a story about you. Someone will say, ‘She believed in me’ or ‘She encouraged me’ or ‘She modeled integrity’  That is what it means to educate minds and empower generations. It is legacy work, it is heart work, it is kingdom work, and it is community work. And it matters. May we continue to build one another up, may we continue to walk in courage, may we continue to lead with love, and may we continue to pass on hope.”